What is a handfasting?
A Pagan handfasting can be:
- a legal marriage*
- a commitment ceremony for a common law or civil union
- a trial marriage for a couple who wish to ease into married life
- a formal betrothal.
*Pagans who wish to become legally married will often have the legal paperwork and requirements taken care of at the local clerk’s office or other government-specified office.
The ceremony can be led by:
- an officiant
- Pagan clergy
- a friend
The ceremony
One of the most enticing aspects of a pagan wedding is that there is no hard and fast rule on how it should be conducted. Some certain traditions within paganism may have guidelines to assist the couple on the big day. But overall it is totally up to the couple as to how they want to celebrate their day of union.
The following is some general traditions people could include in a handfasting ceremony.
A blessing of the space
This could be done by burning incense, ringing bells, banging drums, sprinkling sacred water, walking around the space to “cast the circle,” or tossing flower petals and herbs. It can also be done to drive out any negative energies from the area, including those that people may bring with them, such as wedding planning stress.
Tying of hands using ribbon or cords
In its simplest form, a handfasting is the binding of a couple’s hands or wrists together as a unity ritual within the ceremony. This can be done a variety of ways: the couple may tie the knot themselves, it may be tied by the officiant, or by friends and family of the couple. This is typically the main section of a Pagan wedding and can incorporate the exchanging of rings, speaking of the vows, or the blessing of the union. How long the cord remains physically tied is entirely up to the couple.
Jumping over a broom
The BROOM symbolizes a few different things and the couple may choose to place emphasis on one or more for their ceremony. Brooms are often stored by the front or back door of the home, and thus a broom can symbolize a threshold, the line between the old single life and a new married life. This is similar to the tradition of carrying the bride across the threshold of a new home.
As brooms are used for cleaning and sweeping, it can symbolize the sweeping away of the old dirt of your past to start fresh. The handle of a broom is somewhat phallic in shape and the brush is shaped somewhat like a woman’s skirt, so these two things combined can symbolize fertility and union. A broom also symbolizes the daily grind of marriage; that is, cleaning the floors, taking out the trash, making dinner, and caring for one another.
The Maypole Dance
This is another European folk tradition that has ancient Pagan roots. It is a tall pole with strings or ribbons attached at the top, and people dance or move around it, winding the ribbon around the pole as they go. It’s usually a lot of fun and is accompanied by music, singing, and laughing when you realize that you’re getting the steps wrong. The symbolism of the Maypole is a bit of a mystery even to historians.
To Pagans it can be a sacred tree, being dressed up and decorated. It can signify the “axis mundi,” the pillar that connects the heavens and the earth. It can have the meaning of union and fertility, in that a hole is dug and a pole is planted into the “womb of the earth” and it is then wrapped in beauty. It can be a symbol of marriage, as the pole is wrapped in colorful ribbon, similar to how the hands and wrists are bound during a handfasting.
The vows
Often, they are personal vows written by the people getting handfasted. Such things as love, honour, or cherish and obey, may not be mentioned.
The phrase “’till death do us part” may not be used, but instead replaced by the more realistic and modern concepts such as “for so long as our love shall last.”
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