handfasting

 

What is a handfasting?

Handfasting in the USA today is a contemporary ritual often associated with Pagan traditions, particularly Wicca and other forms of modern witchcraft. It serves as a symbolic and literal union between partners, recognizing their commitment to each other. Here’s an overview of handfasting practices in the U.S. today:

Ritual and Meaning

  1. Symbol of Union: Handfasting originally derived from ancient Celtic traditions as a form of marriage or betrothal. In the modern context, it symbolizes the binding of two individuals in love and commitment, often celebrated in a ceremonial format.
  2. Cord Binding: The ritual typically involves the use of a cord, ribbon, or other material to figuratively bind the hands of both partners together. This act symbolizes their unity and mutual support in the relationship. Different colors may be used to represent various intentions, such as love, harmony, or prosperity.

Modern Practices

  1. Diverse Ceremonies: Handfasting ceremonies can vary widely based on individual beliefs, preferences, and cultural backgrounds. Some couples may choose to incorporate traditional elements, while others may opt for a more personalized approach that resonates with their values.
  2. Incorporation of Beliefs: Many Pagans and Wiccans incorporate elements of their faith into the ceremony, such as invoking deities, celebrating the elements, or performing rituals that honor the Earth. Non-Pagan couples may also adopt handfasting practices for their symbolic significance.
  3. Vows and Intentions: Couples often exchange vows or set intentions during the handfasting ceremony, reflecting their commitment and promises to one another. This may involve writing personalized vows that emphasize love and partnership.
  4. Inclusivity: Handfasting has gained popularity among a diverse range of couples, including those from non-traditional backgrounds, LGBTQ+ couples, and those seeking a spiritual connection rather than a legally binding marriage. The ceremony can be adapted to fit the unique dynamics of each partnership.

Legal Considerations

  1. Ceremonial vs. Legal: It is important to note that handfasting is primarily a spiritual or ceremonial practice and may not hold legal status unless accompanied by a formal marriage license or legally recognized marriage ceremony. Couples interested in handfasting and seeking legal recognition of their union should ensure they complete the necessary legal steps.
  2. Combining Traditions: Some couples choose to combine handfasting with a traditional wedding ceremony, allowing them to honor both their spiritual beliefs and legal commitments.

 

A Pagan handfasting can be:

  • a legal marriage*
  • a commitment ceremony for a common law or civil union
  • a  trial marriage for a couple who wish to ease into married life
  • a formal betrothal.

*Pagans who wish to become legally married will often have the legal paperwork and requirements taken care of at the local clerk’s office or other government-specified office.

The ceremony can be led by:

  • an officiant
  • Pagan clergy
  • a friend

The ceremony

One of the most enticing aspects of a pagan wedding is that there is no hard and fast rule on how it should be conducted. Some certain traditions within paganism may have guidelines to assist the couple on the big day. But overall it is totally up to the couple as to how they want to celebrate their day of union.

The following is some general traditions people could include in a handfasting ceremony.

A blessing of the space

This could be done by burning incense, ringing bells, banging drums, sprinkling sacred water, walking around the space to “cast the circle,” or tossing flower petals and herbs. It can also be done to drive out any negative energies from the area, including those that people may bring with them, such as wedding planning stress.

Tying of hands using ribbon or cords

In its simplest form, a handfasting is the binding of a couple’s hands or wrists together as a unity ritual within the ceremony. This can be done a variety of ways: the couple may tie the knot themselves, it may be tied by the officiant, or by friends and family of the couple. This is typically the main section of a Pagan wedding and can incorporate the exchanging of rings, speaking of the vows, or the blessing of the union. How long the cord remains physically tied is entirely up to the couple.

Jumping over a broom

broom or besom
Witches Besom

The BROOM symbolizes a few different things and the couple may choose to place emphasis on one or more for their ceremony. Brooms are often stored by the front or back door of the home, and thus a broom can symbolize a threshold, the line between the old single life and a new married life. This is similar to the tradition of carrying the bride across the threshold of a new home.

As brooms are used for cleaning and sweeping, it can symbolize the sweeping away of the old dirt of your past to start fresh. The handle of a broom is somewhat phallic in shape and the brush is shaped somewhat like a woman’s skirt, so these two things combined can symbolize fertility and union. A broom also symbolizes the daily grind of marriage; that is, cleaning the floors, taking out the trash, making dinner, and caring for one another.

The Maypole Dance

This is another European folk tradition that has ancient Pagan roots. It is a tall pole with strings or ribbons attached at the top, and people dance or move around it, winding the ribbon around the pole as they go. It’s usually a lot of fun and is accompanied by music, singing, and laughing when you realize that you’re getting the steps wrong. The symbolism of the Maypole is a bit of a mystery even to historians.

To Pagans it can be a sacred tree, being dressed up and decorated. It can signify the “axis mundi,” the pillar that connects the heavens and the earth. It can have the meaning of union and fertility, in that a hole is dug and a pole is planted into the “womb of the earth” and it is then wrapped in beauty. It can be a symbol of marriage, as the pole is wrapped in colorful ribbon, similar to how the hands and wrists are bound during a handfasting.

The vows

Often, they are personal vows written by the people getting handfasted. Such things as love, honour, or cherish and obey, may not be mentioned.

The phrase “’till death do us part” may not be used, but instead replaced by the more realistic and modern concepts such as “for so long as our love shall last.”

Handfasting in the USA today represents a beautiful blend of ancient traditions and modern expressions of love and commitment. It serves as a meaningful ritual for couples looking to celebrate their bond in a way that honors their values and beliefs while fostering a sense of connection to the past. As interest in Paganism and alternative spiritual practices grows, handfasting continues to adapt, becoming a cherished choice for many couples navigating their unique paths to partnership.

Where to hold the ceremony

If you’re looking to have a handfasting ceremony today, here are some options and considerations to help you find the right place:

1. Public Parks

  • Local Parks: Many public parks allow for gatherings and ceremonies, providing a natural setting that aligns well with the earth-centered themes of handfasting.
  • Nature Reserves: Consider a nature reserve or botanical garden, which can offer a beautiful backdrop for your ceremony.

2. Backyard or Home

  • Private Space: If you have access to a backyard or outdoor space at home, this can be a personal and intimate setting for your ceremony.
  • Indoor Space: Creating a space indoors with meaningful decorations, candles, and flowers can make for a cozy and personalized ceremony.

3. Community Centers

  • Check with local community centers that may offer rooms or halls for ceremonies. These venues are often adaptable for various types of events.

4. Witchcraft Shops or Metaphysical Stores

  • Some metaphysical or witchcraft shops may have spaces available for rituals and ceremonies, especially if they are geared towards spiritual practices.

5. Ritual Spaces and Temples

  • Research local Pagan, Wiccan, or spiritual groups that might have designated ritual spaces or offer services for handfasting ceremonies.

6. Clergy or Officiants

  • Find a Celebrant: Consider reaching out to a local celebrant, minister, or officiant who specializes in personalized ceremonies. They may have suggestions for venues and can help facilitate the ceremony.

7. Virtual Gatherings

  • Online Ceremony: If you can’t gather physically with others, consider hosting a virtual handfasting ceremony through platforms like Zoom, inviting friends and family to join remotely.

References:

Off Beat Bride

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