Feb
Right from the moment I conceived the real seed of the Black Path I began to notice what was always there, Anubis. The time was ripe. Death knocked at the door and entered. I lost both mother and father, my mother in law is terminally ill. Hell, even 10 of my 20 fish died in one day. Death has always been present in my life but it’s ferocity in the last six months is unparalleled.
Shortly after my mother died over a year ago when I was on holiday in Spain on one particular non descript day I felt an overwhelming fatigue come over me. I took a siesta. The sun was blazing hot. I let the shutters down but only so much as to allow for air circulation. This had the added effect of throwing spots of sunlight hit the walls of the darkened room. Beside me was an open suitcase filled with clothes, a desk covered with magazines and other paraphinalia. I fell asleep.
I had a nightmare about being in an old villa built of massive sandstone. As I went from room to room and climbed the massive spiral staircase each and every antique window pane was smashed. The sharp edges were soaked in blood. In panic I searched for wounded or dead people in the building and outside through the windows. But no one. The panic grew seizing my heart, mind and throat. Suddenly I was torn out of this unreal world by what felt like a hand stroking the mine. I woke up.
Opening my eyes I recognised the room as described with the difference that in a corner was standing a large black figure. It was not only apparently starring at me but also swaying from left to right. To check whether I was dreaming or not I ran over the set up of my room. The figure remained where it was and continuing what it was doing for several minutes before fading away.
This was my dream and my experience. Everything in that dream were aspects about me. The building was my subjective universe. The windows were portals to other dimensions which were opened with my blood. Blood Magick. It is through these portal that this entity entered my objective Universe. It’s swaying a clear indication of a choice I had.
So why am I telling you this detailed story? Because I see it not only as a blue print of what was coming but also of a very powerful ritual of translating my subjective universe onto the objective one. Creating a new reality.
This is exactly what I was doing in the ritual you asked me about. What I did was that which I wrote about. Nothing more nor less. I used crutches like statues and symbols which are admittedly not essential but these are dear to me. Admittedly this is a crude and simplistic ritual but it is enough and it is mine. It works for me! The kernel of the ritual is my subjective universe I evoked, the results in the objective Universe I achieved. Put in a nut shell if you do not know the individual you will not understand the ritual.
What you cannot see nor can I describe adequately are the emotions, experiences, hopes, desires, vales, darkness, visions etc inseperably intertwined in this ritual which even I cannot fully comprehend. I am certain that my experience is a milestone on Initiation, the first step of many which leads to Divinity. I am also certain the figure I saw was the Princeps. Just as I saw aspects of myself in my dream and the Day 1 vision I am certain I saw myself. I am certain that the most important part of any ritual is the practitioner. It starts with the practitioner and ends with him or her, and not in some series of movements , words, gestures, formulae or symbols. As a God on the path of Initiation the only magical formula I used and need is my own intuition.
DAY 1
This exercise is proving to be far from easy. Due to the nature of my job I am fighting against fatigue: working a 10 hour shift which is physically demanding, psychologically draining and emotionally testing. I try to get sleep during the restless day. My bane is to sit for a moment, as sleep cowers on me as a beast in the dark ready to claim me as his own.
I have read the invocation innumerable times, and each time it seems I am reading a completely new text. A completely new aspect keeps poping up.
Today I tried to visualise the invocation and the accompanying ritual. I lay in my bed breathing slow, steady, full breaths down into the pit of my intestines. Breathing in i summoned all the power of my animals, emotions, my sleeping mind, and exhaled this mass of concentrated unjulating out into the room around me. Twisting, spiraling, turning, spreading, the dark ominous cloud filled the room setting a foundation of darkness.
The cloud of darkness differentiated in its myriad shades of darkness began to open up like a curtain starting from the top and ending at the bottom. Opening up it first revealed an inverted pentagram, then a candle burning with a black flame, then a figure depicting Anubis.
I read the invocation aloud.
The pentagram like a living organism swelled in size even beyond my size. The blackness of its background captivated by the perfect white circle set itself apart from the cloud in its uniformity of colour. It had a depth to it which could only be matched by the universal space. Out of its depths stared many slight points of light, except for two points which unlike their luminescent companions were not luminescent but reflected a fire comparable to the candle. Yet here I was not reflecting on them they were reflecting on me. My quizzical curiosity was answered by a black clawed hand guided by a black muscular arm which thrust out burst into my rib cage and tore my still beating, dripping with blood red heart out. Holding it up for me to see I stared at it in a detached fashion. After the arm withdrew with the heart back into the void from where it came I understood the call to follow.
Stepping forward toward the pentacle I was met head on my a pentagram of blades which surgically dismembered what I recognized to be my body: my head, torso, arms and legs.
I fell asleep…
Although my sleep provided me with any revelations I can remember, my night at work revealed myself in a new light. I understood the world around me and lived at a slow pace. My presence was one of authority, one which was balanced, concentrated, decisive. What I had to say was relevant and to the point. Instead of reacting to certain situations I acted. I noticed how I managed to instrumentals my anger to break down the walls of the stubbornest of patients and caused them not only to rethink their attitude but act differently, and shut down troublesome colleagues. I walked as one of authority.
On returning home I translated my ritual from the subjective into the objective universe by drawing my own blood and marking an inverse pentacle, a candle and figure of Anubis with a heart I once again read aloud and pondered the invocation.
DAY 2
Today I decided to continue my journey in my subjective universe starting where I started on the first day. Everything was much the same excepting three differences:
– the swirls of cloud within the cloud were separate individual entities. They were the animals of my sleeping mind.
– the pentagram grew proportionally to each breath I took. It too was existentially connected to me.
– when my heart was torn out of my rib cage I could feel its pounding through my body that much stronger.
Once I passed the pentagram I was not only confronted by a vast field of stars but came eye to eye with two dark flames whose unusual nature drew all my attention. As a binary system of black holes I was powerless to their gravitational pull. I was sucked into a world of events and their consequences: world war 2 and the rapid modernisation of society; the clumping of cosmic gas and material, their successive implosion ergo the birt of a new star; my conflict with the whore of Babylon and my individual path to endarkenment. The images fleeting. The message like a film of images clear. Everything without exception has its importance in its consequence. “I am a Lord of Life, Death, Life in Death.” Thrown out of time by the sheer force of what was being thrown at me, I stared in wonderment at a constellation of stars embracing the twin dark flames whose form I unmistakably recognised as Anubis.
I instinctively reached out with my right hand and hit what I felt to be a hard smooth surface. When I moved to look more closely so did he. I stoped. So did he. Looking behind me I recognised the stellar pattern to be that of the one before me crowning Anubis.
I recognised the truth of what stood before me.
I recited the invocation a loud.
Stretching out my hand out I was met by the clawed muscular black arm I gave my heart up to. Anubis is I and I Anubis. “I am a Lord of Life, Death, and Life in Death.”
…I fell asleep.
As I walked to work there were no houses, trees, trains, people… there were innumerable consequences in a universal plan.
…when I returned home as yesterday I spent time before my altar and read out the invocation
Day 3
As on day two I started my ritual today with day three. I find the form of ritual I chose very manifold and rich. The familiarity of repeated projection set a solid foundation providing me not only a sense of security but also provides room for development and encourages growth with much more detail. My subjective universe is unmistakably limitless. Also I have noticed how much more powerful my subjective universe becomes. Something which at first presents itself as a unique experience becomes a part of me. It becomes second nature. And the more I am able to put into it the more dynamic it becomes, until it devlopes a virile life of its own as a living organism. I have realised the capacity to be a creator of worlds and creation in my own right.
Aware of the sheer power of masculinity and prime of animalinity ripping through every fibre and muscle of my body as I stood proud with lifted head. I felt how with each deep breath I took a light made its way through the the crown of my head through the trunk of my body in takt to the drum beats of a heart. Through its gravitational force due to its repeated perpendicular movement, up and down and up and down, a black cloud similar to that of my old self but uniformly black was simultaneously thrown out and collected into what resembled an inverted tornado, with its head at my feet, rotating anti clockwise, making its way up to my head and back down to my feet. I could neither see nor move. I was trapped in this nebulous pyramid of darkness. Summoning all the strength I could gather I punched through and out spreading my finger like the wings of a bat and took to the limitless depths of nothing.
Both leathery wings held fast against the uplifting fiery winds of passion with pure intent. Sliding through nothingness like a snake through grass I was attracted to the brightest object on the horizon, the eye of death, a dead sun feeding at the centre of a halo of dying suns. The eye of the Beast. As two of a kind we met eye to eye. We agreed. It devoured me. I let it devour me. Nothing was the same as I stood before a tower ringed to its very summit by a shining obsidian spiral stair case. It seemed familiar yet presented a great mystery.
Climbing its back each step in its reflection presented itself as a page in the history of time. Evolution! Divine Consciousness; The primal explosion; Universal Consciousness; The All Consuming fires of Hell; The Sphere of Order; The Micro Cosmos; The Freezing Fires of Hell; Chaos; The Order of Chaos; Finitude; The Individual Consciousness; The Macro Cosmos; The Void. Each step followed the natural Order. Each step provided a thesis for the next antithesis and benefited the third Synthesis. Each step was a Thesis, an Antithesis and Synthesis alike.
Just one last step… yet no… a Throne… the ultimate Synthesis… the worthy culmination of an obsidian masterpiece… beyond any creature of creation… fit for a God. A monumental obsidian Throne, beyond any human proportion, preceded by two armrests of the one and the same Dragon. Their twin pair of infernal eyes watching my every move which I dare to make, guarding the Secrets of Life in the intense Big Bang set in the Secrets of Death in a cold Universe.
The Secret that the one standing before the Throne recognizes himself through the eyes of the one on the Throne.
Drawing Blood I anoint and open the Pentagram the Door to my subjective universe…
Drawing Blood I anoint and open the Dark Flame of the Candle to my consciousness…
Drawing Blood I anoint and invoke Anubis, the Ap-uat…
Day 4
…an interval of 3 weeks followed the death of my father…
Just as old blood ties had been severed I built new ones to an ancient one which will carry me to a future of who I am instead of a past decendency of belonging. Instead of being victim to circumstance and fate mine is becoming more destiny. Wit a pin prick of blood the pentagram, the ephagies of Anubis and Set, and the dark flame in their vital intrinsic and inate value became as one with my life force. With each breath I took sent that bond coursing through the veins of my whole body as my body, mind, soul, and emotions digested it’s essence.
Finding myself once again in the cradle of death and life, before the throne of that universal monster, I accepted the call of the box of pandora which had been opened for me by placing myself on the Universal Throne. Each inhalation of expectancy powered an equally forceful exhalation of darkness which enveloped my shell with its clawed hands.
In my minds eye I understood the unspoken words “You called me and you have your answer. Naked you came to existence and naked you shall leave it!” I built a social life and lost it to my job. I was born an Englishman and lost to the death of my father. I lost my blood roots, my mother 5 months and my father 1 month ago, to death. Again I heard the voice of unspoken word “You still have a lot to loose!” In my heart I knew what but I daren’t put them to words. There is nothing left but to look in the face of the inevitable, just as I shared the fate of galaxies I saw in the mirrored surface of the black throne.
I understood that my fate lay in darkness and my destiny in the stars. Only fear could stand in my way.
Day 5
…like all my life right from my from my first days of consciousness did every moment, action, experience, emotion, thought, value, feeling, setback, win, loss, gain, desire, event, relationship… on reflection seem to fit in together like small pieces of a jig saw puzzle making up a larger than life picture. And even though not everything made sense at the time everything still had its own particular value. Up until now however this realisation seemed to limit itself in relevance to the finitude of my own existence. No less does every day with yourself, the Order of Anubis, our interactions, and these days of invocation fit in together revealing their own story…
Today as on previous days I anointed Anubis, Set, the Pentagram, and the dark Flame with my life’s blood with one exception. I anointed the tip of my athame with blood drawing a Pentagram likewise over my altar as around my feet on the floor upon which I stood. I opened a door and unlocked it simultaneously reciting the invocation between the divine consciousness and my own.
Picking up where I last left I found myself once again sitting on the Universal throne this time knowing what was expected of me and its price. At my feet was a golden Pentegram whose diameter encircled my person. Looking back up I recognised a figure in black, vague in aspect, gradually crystallising details, revealing what I recognised to be the person of Set. Reaching out with both hands He handed me a smaller version of the Pentagram at my feet. Once I took on this gift it felt as if an electrical circle had been closed, its current courses through my body, I was enveloped in a golden flame which devoured and ejected every molecule in my body through a portal of darkness at my feet into the void beyond. Even though my body had been broken down into its most basic elements, each indidual element retained the consciousness of its whole.
I was transported to the very beginning of time. I was catapulted in a multitude of directions simultaneously . I became part of gas clouds the crib of stars. I was trapped in heavy constructs of heavy metals in spectacular deaths of stellar giants. I supported life on distant planets, filling lungs, transporting other materials in ecological systems. I became life itself , walking, stretching towards the heavens, communicating . I burned in the darkest of nights, froze in warm sunlight, formed the hardest of material in the gentlest caress of a constant flow, I became that moment which conceived a blessing to a species. There was nothing I had not been part of, there was nothing I did not remember, there was nothing I did not understand.
My great sense of empathy became clear to me, not as a mark of weakness, but as a sign of universal consciousness. I carry the key to life. This enlightenment brought all the individual molecules back together in their previous state and transported me back through the portal I had left.
It never failed to astound me how on this day my view of the world around me changed. I saw through the eyes of others, animals, plants and yes even innate objects. I was a part of them and they of me. I lived in them and they in me.
Day 6
…Although I have leaned to live with my past it is still an issue I feel which needs to be reckoned with. My life contains a lot of junk which still chains me down, distracting myself from my own essential and individual kernel of my basic naked self. Anubis revealed how to deal with my excess baggage, dyeing to my alter ego, becoming the monster I am by breaking those chains. Set showed me how to live, discover my divine self, become the creator of the Universe. To do that I need to recognize and claim what is rightfully mine, bearing my fangs as the monster for a naked Universe. I am at war, war with myself and institutionalization with all its convenient creations in the name of the TRUTH. I am the Adversary, the Beast, the Deceiver, the Enemy…
As on Day 5 I prepared my Altar: Anubis and Set at the forefront joined by the Pentagram and led by the Dark Flame. Outside I prepared a Black Vessel. On the Altar I laid 8 pieces of paper each reading one of 8 aspects (Public Opinion, Religious Order, State Education, Social Order, National Order, Family Bonds, Franciscan Order, The Roman Catholic Church). With my blood I drew a Pentagram above the Altar as I did around me using my Athame. Each of the 8 papers I signed with my blood as well as Anubis, Set, the Pentagram, Dark Flame. Calling with raised arms and Athame in my right hand I called on the Princeps, Set and Anubis to be as one with me. I continued with the invocation. In contrast to the previous Days my words seemed to flow effortlessly like water in a river. I felt the knot in my heart which I learned to live with loosen and melt away. My chest expanded, my muscles relaxed and my standing became upright. What a feeling of liberation…
…as four dark hooded figures of majestic stature moved out of Darkness on that throne of thrones. Once again my feet were firmly placed on the golden Pentagram whilst I was holding its smaller version in my hands. The four figures spread out almost gracefully in accord, two to my left and two to my right. It was not difficult to understand that the five of us formed the shape of a Pentagram. Holding out each individual paper I invoked the name of Anubis asking that all bonds be severed. Each paper burned in a golden pillar of fire from the Pentagram at my feet. Each piece of paper burned giving away to the smoldering blue smoke which rose to the stars in recognition of all our origins. After the last piece had been destroyed the four figures removed their hoods revealing their faces beneath. Anubis, Set, Princeps and Ankh Ka Inpw. It has begun.
Day 7
…Day 7 followed a three day interval during which I experienced that half of the fish from my aquarium died overnight. On my eighth night I almost collapsed and the following 2 Days my legs were not able to carry me, I suffered innumerable pains in every part of my body, and I had lost all sense of taste for food…
…Was this a bill long due for enduring a non stop all day stress from the Day my father died on January 22 up to 20 February…
…Was this a part of my path I chose when I invoked Anubis…
…Whatever the reason maybe I spent the last two days almost all 24 hours a day sleeping…
The first of these three days I read the invocation, each day I took a hot bath. I placed an image of Anubis and Set under my pillow and bade them both to speak to me in my dreams. Nothing, only darkness. I had no control over my mind, emotions, body or spirit, all I experienced was how constant pain taunted my whole being. I could not understand anything, feel anything, hear anything, taste anything nor smell anything. When I took a bath I submerged myself full below its surface and there it was, my heart. I could feel my heart beat its steady, strong rhythmic beat in my chest. I arose from the depths of the waters and knew that I had died a death to myself. I arose from the depths of the waters and knew myself to be reborn to life in Death. Although this invocation was the least visual it was the the most powerful, and is not an experience I can evaluate or conclude its fruits will remain to be seen.
Day 8
My Mind:
Of all the four components it is my mind which I am most conscious of. It is with great passion that I use my mind, which „feels, perceives, thinks, wills, and especially reasons” (Webster‘s dictionary).
Despite the advantages of our technological and mass media dominated society, it is very easy to let others do the thinking for you. In fact more often than not we are lured into reacting to what is put in front of us. Originality or creativity has become a risky business or not profitable. All too often I have caught my self simply imitating the thinking and behaviour of others. The „herding instinct“ in mankind is a strong one, and not to be underestimated. After all what better feeling is there than to belong to a group and not have to fear being alone. Ironically, however, it is this problem which challenges the mind of every man and woman. It is something which certainly occupies mine.
Our minds are not the sum of our brains but something much greater more Universal. As such I try to exercise communication in what I think with what others think: adding ideas; changing ideas; asking questions; doubting; creating… . Literature, factual books, documentaries, films, magazines, music, groups… Everything, no matter how insignificant, which exists has a story to tell. It is up to the observer to discover that. On my journey to broaden my mind I have always tried to test my mind with courses and exams. Although admittedly its not always easy to accept different views.
Judging from meditations, vision quests, rituals… I have experienced the power of my mind as not only being greater than the mere grasping, processing and elaborating of information but as also stretching far beyond my imagination. I have discovered the potential to change my behavior, to effect in a non definable way the behavior of others (energy healing, blessings, hope…), to exercise an influence over matter (moving of a pendel, or candle flame), to perceive or discern thing to come (like an illusive memory) or to perceive intentions or feelings in others.
Air:
As in the following Invocations I set up the Statues of Anubis and Set on the dining room table, an incense burner in the form of a Dragon between the two and my glass Pentagram at the front. Lighting the incense and drawing a drop of blood I followed the shape of the Pentagram and anointed the two statues.
After reciting the Invocation, letting each word resonate through my Body I accepted and enjoyed the caresses of twirls of multi shaded smoke just as I eagerly took in its sweet smelling scent to my very core. Sitting upright my body was poised and receptive to the sounds of the chirping of birds, the moaning of people, the shuffling of leaves through trees and the humming of cars over the motorway as well as it whistling through the crack of a window. The cold breath of a light breeze stroked my skin tightening the texture of my greatest of organs. The taste of rain on my tongue caused my mouth to water in resonance. I reciprocated! I sounded my song over the roof tops of the world. The Universe danced to the beat of my heart. I became the howler in the Dark. I am the escort in the Night whose sweet smell of sweat accompanies the ignorant of mind. At one in the air I am at one with the peoples, the world and the Universe.
Day 9
My Emotion:
Although emotions are judged as either good or bad according to the effect they produce or their standing in social life they remain an integral and very much mysterious part of our lives. Some draw on the power they generate, some see them as a hinderness to action or thought, and others as a means of venting harmful excess energy.
I very often find it difficult to choose what emotions I will or will not have. Most times they just pop up, and just then when you least expect it. And more often than not when they have already happened only then do I get a good idea of how I feel about a situation. I even found myself reacting to something which reminded me of a past happening. You could almost say that emotions can make their way into the future. Such recurrent emotions are powerful enough to be noticed through tense muscles, upset stomachs, headaches… .
According to the medical world there are two basic emotions common to all human beings: love and fear. Desire, joy, pleasure, acceptance, hope to name but a few are examples of love based feelings. Anxiety, anger, sorrow, jealousy, depression to name but a few are examples of fear based emotions. Each of these groups produces different hormones producing to varying degrees two different bodily reactions. Boy and do I know what that feels like, sometimes it feels like being on a roller coaster.
When I tried to suppress unwanted feelings I noticed myself smoking, or trying to find things to do, or intellectualizing in an attempt to distance myself or break the problem into parts, or over reacting to distract from the real problem… . My European culture has educated me to not show my emotions: do not worry be happy, just keep smiling, do not disturb the peace. That emotions are seen as a weakness in our society is from my experience not far from the truth, I often found myself under ridicule, criticism or alone when I showed my emotions. Things seemed to get from bad to worse. As I experienced in my long period excessive dislike to someone such feelings are a recipe for general bitterness and ill health. I even would go so far as to say I was in danger of loosing myself.
Water:
As in the following Invocations I set up the Statues of Anubis and Set on the dining room table, a Bamphomet Chalice filled with water between the two and my glass Pentagram at the front. Drinking of the Water, inviting Anubis, Set and the Princeps to join me, and drawing a drop of blood I followed the shape of the Pentagram and anointed the two statues.
After reciting the Invocation, letting each word resonate through my Body I felt the cool water mingle with my blood and my blood with it. Each drop of water pumped in my own ecological system, giving the skin on my bones an unmistakeable distinct shape. Each step I took on the freshly moistened earth of the forest floor bounced to the soft texture of water. The rich bushy vegetation of the shrubbery screamed out their saturated existence in both color and nauseating scents of a greater ecological system. A yet greater ecological system of deep blue skies framed by fluffy white specters held the mind in their spell promising secrets and greater things to come. The secrets of time and space and the mysteries of Man. One ecological system mirrored the next and all rode the air.
Day 10
My Spirit:
There are as many definitions of Spirit as there are human beings, and who can say that any one of them is not true? When I consider that my spiritual side is the most personal of all my aspects, the one which is closest, I can only dare to state that all of the definitions are true. My spiritual side is what I am or at the least a signal of what I am becoming. It is my connection to the Universe.
Very often I tried to identify myself wholly to a religion but without great satisfaction. Yes religions do base their essence on spirituality but in their generality they miss out on the uniqueness of the individual very often leading to alienation, exclusion or the very least frustration. The only way my spiritual person was able to breath free was in the practise of a love based attitude in everyday life, as an individual. Sure spiritual persons can share but it does not seem to work if they are gathered in the name of spirituality.
Some people use the words God, Goddess, Allah, Great Spirit… . This is not so important as is the connection to the Universal, the sense of purpose, the belief… . The God of fear which ruled in the world of yesterday in our society is a mistake since once again that unique spiritual person in his or her individuality suffers. It is a slap in the face of creation or the universe.
I see the Universal in nature, in the rivers, mountains, stones, the animals, plants… . I experience the Universal in the movements of peoples. I see the beauty of the Universal in the smile of my daughter. I feel the warmth of the Universal in the arms of my wife. I see the greatness of the Universal in the stars at night. I see the mystery of the Universal in the moon at night. I see the power of the Universal in the sun. Like we all do so do I have the fundamental need to worship and if I cannot I feel bad. I have said prayers, meditated, gone for a walk, made an altar, sat on a park bench, lit candles, fasted… . I am still however finding my way.
Fire:
As in the previous Invocations I set up the Statues of Anubis and Set on the dining room table, an incense and fire cruciible between the two and my glass Pentagram at the front. Igniting a piece of charcoal and letting it devour itself in red hot fire, inviting Anubis, Set and the Princeps to join me, and drawing a drop of blood I followed the shape of the Pentagram and anointed the two Statues.
Holding the palms of both hands over each other, over the glowing charcoal I felt the heat increase in my palms in response . This heat, just as with the charcoal, devoured my body, softening every muscle in my body, causing me to reach out to the heavens with outstretched arms like burning flames. Dropping a few grains of inscence on the charcoal I bathed in the sweet scent starting with arms, head, torso,and legs. Then I focused on my 7 chakras starting with my crown. Everything I touched be it inanimate, the dog, the air sorrounding me I reciprocated with the same fire, breaking each form down into its elements, reaching into the other, becoming one with the other. I burned with an energy which not only broke down the air, water, fire and earth into their common fundamental elements of protons, electrons, neutrons, but also bound the very same creating forms unmistakably elemental. Never did life, Death, and life in death feel so close.
The smell of freshly cut warm bread, the fresh smell of coffee as hot water unlocks its secrets, the slow mellow taste of tabac as the glow transforms its sweet leaves into an inviting blue haze, the earthy vapours of an early morning mist as it hits the lap of the warm earth. The sensations of mysticism, home sickness, awe, desire, comfort, longing… no less powerful.
Day 11
Body:
Of all four aspects I feel most familiar with is my body, although I must admit to being far from a modern day Body Culture junky. Up until recently everything seems to have more or less worked out, so I also have to ashamedly admit to not having put much thought to it. Even though I have a good idea of my bodily parts and their functions, they are still strangers and I am not even really sure if they are healthy. For that I rely on my General Practitioner who reassured me all was fine in my last check up.
Very often my body seems to have a mind of its own. Out of the blue I feel a craving for some kind of food (Chinese, Pizza… ), or I just eat something like it was on a conveyor belt (chocolate, chips, nuts, cola…) without giving it a thought, or I look to calm what seems to be a bodily nervousness (cigarettes, chocolate…), or I just down right don`t feel like anything.
Due to my contact with the medical profession, with my wife and literature I do get informed and steadily more so about new information on our bodies, how they work and what is good for them. I also feel myself fortunate to live in this German society, which promotes a greater awareness for health, quality and healthy living. When I am ill though I try to drag things out until its absolutely necessary to see a doctor, my wife only shakes her head and comments „typical man!„
I do, when I am not working nights, try to take in a healthy proportion of meats and vegetables. My work as a nurse caters for a large proportion of movement, even though I am for the same reason limited to the amount of sports I can do. The amount of liquid intake on a daily basis is of great importance to me, when my chores allow. Bodily stress I try to work out through thought, meditation and contemplation, even though sometimes I end up smoking. I am slightly over weight for my size, but have kind of come to accept that. What I am particularly proud of is that I count on my one hand the number of times in the year when I am sick. In fact I haven`t been sick from work since 5 years now at least before the recent death of my father.
Earth:
As in the previous Invocations I set up the Statues of Anubis and Set on my altar, placed a piece of black obsidian between the two and my glass Pentagram at the front. Holding the black obsidian stone firmly in the palm of my right hand, inviting Anubis, Set and the Princeps to join me, and following the shape of the Pentagram with my finger I anointed the two Statues. Opening myself to the Invocation and ride my dragon I held the black obsidian on all chakras. Placing the stone on its rightful place I started my journey.
Standing with both feet firmly on the ground not only does earth have a firm hold on me but I on it. Not only do I come from earth but I will return to it. Not only am I the recipient of life but I am the very source of life. I am food for the worms, a source of energy for vegetation, tools for greater and lesser magic, a warning against the finitude of grandeur, a legacy to the infinity of the universal,a warehouse of potential, an abomination in the eyes of social justice, beyond good and evil, the bane of humanity, the lurker in the dark, the mirror of things to come, the accuser. I am a Lord of Life, Death, and life in Death.
I am nobody. My place is nowhere and everywhere. Listen to the howl of the winds, the melody of the planet Saturn, the growing pains of the trees, the decay of vegetation, the movements of the earth… and you will know me.
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