PREPARATIONS
I bought a wooden picture frame, white canvas, black lack spray, gold paint and paint brushes. Both the frame and canvas I sprayed black and painted proportionally according to the size of the canvas the sigil I was to focus on in gold. Because I took real quality time to paint the Key Sigil, I experienced during the course of my meditations that the image in all its detail was indelibly ingrained in my mind`s eye.
In addition to the Key Sigil I acquired a lancet used by diabetics for drawing blood.
I also took time in various situations e.g. on the train, in the tram, in a quiet moment to… to internalize and memorize the Invocation of the Ascending Flame and familiarize myself with each meditation before they had to be done.
FORWARD
Due to me having to work nights as a nurse I had to conduct my meditations during the day during late afternoon.
I tried the first day meditation on Sunday the 8th October in the morning straight after returning after work. To my frustration I experienced a total block to any visualization I tried to open myself unto. The image of the Key Sigil remained as it did, nothing happened, and I experienced difficulties in reciting the Invocation. All of this I can only explain with fatigue. On the Monday and the Days there after I did it just before I was to sleep, in the darkness of the bedroom.
Also to my surprise I realized a strong inhibition in puncturing my skin to draw blood, which I only managed to do on the Day 1, Monday 9th October. Each and every meditation I anointed the Key Sigil with my blood.
With each and every successive Day I noticed the meditations were becoming more and more vivid and effective.
DAY 1
The first thing I experienced was how the out edges of the Key Sigil, like a blade running with blood, began to run red with blood, and the Sigil itself continuously increase in luminosity until it ignited into flames of various sizes, shapes and shades.
Although I had the image of the Key Sigil lay before me, the image I was seeing was in mid air in all its vivid detail in my mind`s eye. It did not matter whether I opened my eyes or held them shut the image remained as it was in its development.
As the flames increased, filling the room, so did my body seem to respond in kind, it felt like wax becoming soft and shapeless. As the “wax” on my body retracted a triangular shape revealed itself in my chest and seemed to mirror another dark triangle facing me, embedded in a wall of flames. Although my consciousness retained its form I was lost to the room around me, became one with it.
Whilst and after reciting the Invocation of the ascending Flame I began to see shadows and shapes in the black triangle before me. I saw a a single horn which resembled that of a bull; an eye which resembled tat of a serpent; a pair of large bat wings; a defined face with strong jaw. After each of these images appeared and the disappeared they were replaced by an imposing demonic figure, who entered the room after inviting Him in and asking him for guidance. Without a word he faced me and with lightening speed dug both His hands into my ribcage pulling out a sticky black driping substance. I experienced a feeling of relief and one of opportunity. Without a word He left.
DAY 2
With the inscription of the third eye on my forehead I felt an unbearable heat coursing through my body from head to feet. Every muscle in my body began to ache. Pearls of sweat began to form on the surface of my skin soaking the clothes wrapped around me. The heat continued to rise to a point that these drops of sweat like paraffin ignited spontaneously enveloping my body in a coat of fire. Like a conductor my rigid spine conducted the bundled energy unleashed on my body bursting all form, winding its way upto the third eye. The massive surge of energy bust out in a cry of pain and relief, spreading out and away as large, wide , leathery bat like wings claiming their space around myself and everything in it. I bore the world a solid row of razor sharp perfect set of sword like teeth.
DAY 3
I saw the world, experienced, and understood it with different eyes. Primarily I saw through everything around me. I saw beyond form , colour, material into the galaxies of molecules and the energies which held them together. Every individual thing lost its definition, purpose and individuality. Everything became part of what I was to discover, a greater whole. When I looked around me I found myself soaring into the black depths of the universe confronted with the same construct of molecules and energy. Creation was mine to enjoy and understand. I the dragon of the ascending fire was everywhere and nowhere.
As the blackness of the triangular portal crept into my world I met it with a glance of curiosity. My long serpentine body slithered deep enough into its depths to stop and stare into the features of an individual who seemed familiar but lost. I saw into the face of me. An individual caught in the confines of hi own mind. If only he knew. Full of your own importance, ignorant to what you are.
DAY 4
The hot breaths filled the air with unmistakable currents pushing the cold out of its way. The cold giving way turned in behind its better causing a chaos of intertwining currents. Like snakes they caressed each other in a fight over life and death. The air charged itself with an unbearable static which made each breath all that more difficult. And the more I inhaled the more I lost all sense for the self. I was not myself. Only my heart sounded the fight as it coped with lungs full of the seething gas.Drunk I peered into a pair of amber animalistic eyes fixed on the mine piercing the unfathomable depths of darkness captured in the triangular frame of the portal. Squinting I was caught in their ban ; like round jades I began to wonder why ; smiling I became curious ; receding I wanted to follow.
I followed into a universe of atoms, no different to the one I learned to love. I followed into a world of fire pregnant with energy. I followed into the worlds of ancients of mankind. I followed into a world of creativity full of potential. I followed into galaxies full of stars different in size and colour. I followed into the blackness of a dead sun, the irresistible bane; I followed into the world of the damned. I returned.
DAY 5
I slipped through the black portal accompanied by the powerful cracking thrusts of my wings into darkness like a knife through butter. The darkness was overwhelming an inviting alike. My only guide were a million gateways to a million different worlds. But which one? My gut answered by pulling my attention to one particular gateway. I followed. The darkness here was even more intimidating than anything I had experienced before. Only a single light at the end of the tunnel drew my attention. An imperial column speeded my approach, and put me in my place with it’s giant majestic features.
It was not difficult to notice the heavy set gold vertical staircase encased with golden and red flames which like fingers pointed the way up. I was sure that such majesty even was only but a mere indication of what was expecting me. For what other reason would such a tool be there.
Like the rise of a golden red sun on the horizon of an early autumn morning the vision of a golden larger than life sized throne with its twin draconian armrests set in a more than perfect mirrored backrest which captured a universe full of galaxies engulfed in flames filled my senses just as my heart. Any words would be a mockery and fall short of a lie.
DAY 6
The flames of the Ascending Flame are burning within my soul. Drunk with power I enjoy the feelings of liberation, purity, individuality, purpose, exaltation and balance. All my senses are coloured through the Ascending Flame. Nothing is the same, I am not the same. All my life I have been searching for just this.
DAY 7
God of Darkness,
Eternal Dragon, Lord of Abyss,
Yours is my Body to devour,
God of Light,
Lucifer, Lord of Flames,
Purge my Soul.
Free me from shadows of mediocracy.
Profound as the Abyss.
A beacon to the Gods.
To you I rise as a pillar of fire on wings outstretched.
It is from you I came and it is to you I return.
I reflected on what I had experienced and how I have changed. I feel most definitely that this is my way. I wish to step out of the shadow of the Darkness of my true self.
